2017 is slowly drawing to a close, and I for one could not be happier about it. This year has been mental – I feel like I’ve been one of those hamsters who goes round and round without stopping for a break.
One of my problems, I’ve come to realise is that this time last year, I set expectations and goals and then proceeded to work myself into the ground over the next 12 months trying to achieve them. I didn’t allow myself any time for me or anytime for the moments you don’t and can’t plan.
I set out last January armed with a list of things I wanted to do. Some of the things included – be better at the gym, start writing a book, reconnect with some old friends etc. And yes, some of it worked: I got healthier, ran a half marathon, traveled to new places, tried a huge range of new bars in London and became almost too social.
The problem with trying to do everything at once though, is that when life hits you with something unexpected, there’s no room for it. And life has a way of hitting you with the most unexpected things at the most infuriating times. They also tend to be things that need your attention – like a friend losing someone close, or a family member needing support. You can’t prepare for it, but you have to drop everything when it happens. When it did happen, I took it all in my stride, but my mistake was not letting anything else slack. The result? I developed anxiety, had a complete burnout and ended up having two days bedrest.
The worst thing was, that during my bedrest I couldn’t switch off. I was checking work emails, messaging friends and making plans. I was so focussed on the things that I hadn’t yet achieved that I found it impossible to stop and look at what I had. So I did what I usually do in these situations and read a book to take my mind off everything. Some of you may have heard of it, some of you might not – but I genuinely think everyone should read it. It’s called “The Life Changing Magic if Not Giving a F**k” by Sarah Knight and it’s hands down one of the best things I’ve read this year. The basis of the book is about how to stop trying to please everyone and spend your time and energy on things that matter and what you want to do.
I started out 2017 in a bad place and thought I could fix it by putting into place a clear set of goals. Turns out life had different plans for me, but that’s ok. I had a lot of ups and downs, and yes, I’ve definitely dubbed 2017 the year of the fuckboy, but it is also the year that my health took a turn for the better, the year my career really started to take shape and hopefully the year I started to figure out who I was a little bit more. All things considered, 2017 definitely wasn’t a bad year, but it was definitely a year where I gave way too many f**ks and and spent way to much time with people I don’t like doing things I don’t like.
Come 2018, I’ll be slowing things right down. My resolution is simply to give less f**ks, and spend my time and effort on things which actually matter to me. It can’t be that hard right?